I’ve been thinking a lot about growth and change. About how some people love change and some people are creatures of habit and just don’t want it. For many years I hated change, I was afraid of it. I used to sit and watch the world change around me, I’d see other people branching out and exploring the unknown and I’d always wish I could be more like them but I never really had it in me to do anything about it. I would always make excuses about why I couldn’t change, I’d tell myself it was never the right time, someone or something was holding me back, when really I was just holding myself back. I was partially happy with my everyday routine, I had friends and family close by and my day to day was comfortable enough to just stick around and chug along. It was easier that way.
I don’t know what changed in me but something did. I realised that the life I was living wasn’t making me happy so I changed it (with a little help and a lot of encouragement from some people who I’ll forever be grateful to)…and I don’t think I’ve stopped changing since.
Change can be hard, going into the unknown can be scary, and the fear of failure is overwhelming but sometimes we don’t fail, Sometimes we fly!
Growing up we are told to embrace change yet most of us resent it. We run around in our normal routine, sliding through life thinking it’s mapped out for us.
One thing I’ve learnt in the past couple of months is that everyone needs change, we need it to grow, so we can learn more about who we are and so we can become who we need and want to be. We may not like it and it may scare us but in the end we’ll be thankful for the step we took.
Open your eyes to opportunities, speak to the person next to you and learn something from a stranger, have an opinion and listen to others. Everything can help you grow, and help you change for the better.
If you’re not happy with who you are, what you’re doing or if you’ve been contemplating doing something different then do it. It’s not like anything exciting ever came from just staying the same.
Sometimes the things we’re most afraid of are the only things which will set us free.
Now go Spread your wings…it’s time to fly!
- Francesca xoxo
I found out earlier this week that I’ve been shortlisted for the best lifestyle blog at the 2014 Cosmo blog awards. I’m so happy I can’t stop smiling! I knew the announcement was coming on the 7th July I was so nervous, my sister text me to tell me telling me to check the Cosmo site and I went into complete panic, it felt like the link took 100 years to load. Then there was my little name shortlisted; I’m still in disbelief to be honest. I have all you lovely people to thank for nominating me, and I don’t know how I could thank you enough.
Doing a blog was a big step for me; I never thought I would share my thoughts with others and I never once thought people would enjoy what I wrote. I started writing properly when I was 14; I was dealing with a family separation, along with the usual teenage emotions, which at the time were earth-shattering issues that any 14-year-old deals with. It was a way for me to deal with my feelings, a form of release. I started off writing terrible poems that didn’t even make sense; I have 100’s of books full of words. Since then I’ve wrote whenever I feel anything, happy, sad, frustrated, disappointed, I didn’t like talking to others about how I felt so writing it down I was almost sharing it with myself if that makes sense? It wasn’t until I started to put my writing on the Internet that I began to see that I wasn’t alone in my feelings. There is someone out there who feels the same, and writing my blog and using social media to connect with people has really opened my eyes and made me wish I had started sharing my thoughts to the Internet many years ago.
Growing up is hard, and never ending. I always assumed that I’d reach a certain age, and all the struggles we deal when we are younger, would just disappear, but no matter what age you are, your emotions never leave. Life can always be complicated and lessons are always there to be learnt.
I just want to thank you for letting me talk to you, and for sharing my words with others. For believing in me enough to put me forward for such an amazing award, I hope you continue to find a little part of yourself in my words, because like I’ve always said, “I blog about us”.
Please continue to vote as many times as you wish for http://francescaroberts.com at http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/blogs/cosmo-blog-awards-2014/cosmo-blog-awards-2014-shortlist (The category I’ve been shortlisted for is best lifestyle blog which is number 6 on the list, please vote for all the other categories before and after mine and once you’ve reached the end click submit) you have until August 29th when voting closes, and we will find out the winner later in the year at a ceremony (so exciting). Also make sure you check out all the other amazing blogs in my category and all the other categories they really are inspiring. I’m obsessed with them all already!
On an extra note I’ve set up a ‘Guest Blog’ Page to my website and I’d love if you’d all contribute by sending me a blog post of your own which you’d like to be featured. Please send them to firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll be posting a new one every few days! If you’ve got any questions or just want to chat come find me on twitter.
Thank you so much again; you have no idea how much it means to me.
- Francesca xoxo
Too fat, too thin, too tall, too small, too loud, too quiet, too anything, too everything. Why are we always referred to as ‘too something’? Why cant we just be who we are. Striving for someone else’s idea of perfection is not only exhausting it’s impossible.
I’m tired of the never-ending comparison of women. How are we supposed to love our bodies and who we are, if all we are is scrutinised for just being us. I can’t pick up a magazine, or go onto a website without being told the new fad diet or see judgment about body size – one week its cool to be thin, the next you’re not attractive unless you have curves – it’s a losing battle.
When I think about all the women I know, all I see is differences. Not one woman I know is the same as the other, we come in all different shapes and sizes. Not one women I know loves every part of their body and not one of them wouldn’t change how they look to some degree. But I wonder at what point was it decided that we’re all just not good enough the way we are?
The pressure of perfection is so intense. People are starving themselves to lose weight, they’re undergoing surgery to have bigger boobs, and they’re injecting things into their face to stop expression for the fear of wrinkles.
When did it become ok to morph into someone else to be considered perfect?
I’m not afraid to point out my imperfections, I know its ok to be insecure about things as long as I don’t let the insecurity define me, but what’s not ok is when others use our insecurities as a weapon. Life is hard enough to have to deal with the added pressures of perfection.
I’d rather highlight what’s beautiful about a person, help make someone realise how incredible they actually are rather than bring them down. We are so much more than just how we look, we are smart, we are funny, caring, ambitious, nurturing; we are everything we want to be. Seeing someone happy with who they are is perfection to me.
So next time you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror don’t be afraid to smile at the person starring back at you, because believe me that person is beautiful no matter what the trolls on the internet say.
- Francesca xx
Hey everyone, if you haven’t already please nominate my blog www.francescaroberts.com for the #CosmoBlogAwards http://t.co/btGxHgCqjv as Lwww.francescaroberts.com for the #CosmoBlogAwards http://t.co/btGxHgCqjv as Lifestyle blog. Today is the final day to nominate. Thank you 😘💜 xx
In honour of national best friends day I decided to write a post about how important friendship is, and being able to notice what a friend really is.
To highlight that the way we treat others reflects mainly on who we are as people.
Being someone’s friend can be easy but at the same time it can also be extremely hard. Being there for somebody can be demanding especially when at times your own world can be spiralling out of control.
Friendship is not all about a mutual love for partying, gossiping and chatting about your favourite TV shows, it’s so much more than that. It’s finding a connection with someone else.
Life can get in the way of real relationships, sometimes we are too tired and lazy to text back, and sometimes we miss out on a lot of things which happen in our friends lives because we simply cant be there, but luckily enough true friendship isn’t about mutual interests, intense contact or seeing someone everyday of the week, It’s about knowing you have found something in someone, which is similar to what you have inside. It’s knowing that your friends will love you anyway regardless of your tardiness.
Friendship is about appreciating who the other person is to you, its about caring for someone, its about honestly and it’s about knowing when the time comes and your friends truly need you, that you are there for them no matter what, to be honest or to just be silent. – Whatever they need most.
Take the time to understand what friendship is. Look around at the people you call friends. If you can say that you treat each other with respect, with love and really have a connection, which is based on more than just materialistic qualities, then you’ve found a friend for life.
If you have a true best friend then you’re lucky, most people only have acquaintances wearing the friend mask.
When you’re the one who doesn’t have their shit together it can really be annoying.
Toying with the mixed emotions of being happy for your friends and being completely envious of their focus and direction can be hard.
Who said that there had to be a deadline on what we do with our life. Who decided that by a certain age we had to know where we are going and have our 10 year life plan in order already ticking off the accomplishments. It’s great to have direction and its great to have it all together but it’s also ok to not really know. So do what’s best for you.
There isn’t a time frame on life; life is precious and at times short. We should grab it with both hands and seize every moment, but we also don’t all have to do things like everyone else. If you’ve got it all figured out before you turn 19 then great, but if your 35 and still trying to figure it out, don’t let that worry you. Life is our own. We do with it what we please. Don’t feel pressured into making decisions based on the people around you.
Run your own path, and run it with faith in your heart. Its your own journey, not just a race to the finish line.
- Francesca xx
Today is my Nan and Grandads 68th wedding anniversary. 68 years!!! I literally find myself flabbergasted by that number.
In this day an age it is so easy to give up on love that I can’t imagine anyone I know will have a marriage that lasts that long again.
Now I can’t imagine my Nan and Grandad have had a perfect life together. They’ve gone through some beautiful times and some heart breaking times but the most sacred part about their life is that they’ve done it together. They’ve supported each other and they’ve cared for each other.
It is so easy these days to fall out of love. To say I give up because it’s not going too well right now. To have a wondering eye because the grass appears greener. Now don’t get me wrong I’m a firm believer in leaving a loveless relationship because in the end it will only cause more pain but I’m also a believer in trying. I believe that you should try, try and try again. If things get tough stick it out. See how you feel once the sun starts to shine again. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t.
I believe in love. And I believe that people are free to love who they please. Whether you love a girl or a boy it doesn’t matter - it may to some small minded loveless people - but it doesn’t matter to me an it shouldn’t matter to you. Love is love.
As long as the person you love knows you love them. You’re good to them and you treat them with respect. That’s all that matters.
So I hope you join me in wishing my Nan and Grandad a happy 68th wedding anniversary and here’s to them spending many more happy healthy years together.
Do you ever wonder what if?
Do you ever imagine your life if you had taken a different path?
I can sit here and wonder all day about if I had done things differently. Would my life be different?
If I had decided to go to university would I be somewhere different to where I am today? If I had chosen different subject’s in school would it be different? I wonder if I were still friends with some of the people I grew up with, would that have made me a different person? I see how some of their lives have panned out from making different choices to me, would that have been my fate too?
People always say ‘what if’ is a negative thing, and in most circumstances it can be. If you wonder ‘what if’ with regret and wish things were different for you then ‘what if’ is very negative. I think ‘what If’ can be positive too. Wondering can be fun. It’s good to look back at the choices we have made and paths we have taken and see things in a positive light. Our choices in life make us who we are today. They have moulded us.
Everyone has choices they face daily, however big or small.
As children we learn the choice between right and wrong, good and bad, and as we grow we choose to implement good and bad in our life and in the lives of others around us. Everything we do has an impact on our future.
So next time you think you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life through the choice you’ve made, remember that all our choices are life experience, they’re a step into making us who we are, and there was a reason why you made that choice. At that point in your life, that choice was the one for you.
Its fun to think about the past choices we have made, and wonder what could have been if we had done things differently, but its important to remember that the choices we make from here on out are the ones that matter. If you love someone its your choice to tell them, if you miss someone its your choice to call them. If you’ve made a mistake its your choice to say sorry. If you hate your job its your choice to change it. The choices we make today are the ones we get to wonder about tomorrow.
My only advise would be to make the choices that make you happy. Wondering about what could have been is only fun when you know the choice you made back then was the right one for you.
Life is too short to waste it living with regret, do what makes you happy and look to the future excited with the possibilities it will bring.
Today is New Year’s Eve. I’ve already seen a million ‘new year, new me’ status’, people have started to tell the world their new year resolutions i.e. start the gym, change my job, go travelling etc, and I’ve also seen a lot of negativity about New Year. People saying they don’t get the hype and don’t agree with the ‘new year, new me’ mentality.
But I applaud the people who are brave enough to wish for change, and I salute the people who get up and make the change happen come the beginning of the New Year. What’s wrong with reflecting over the year that’s past and wanting to make some changes? Why wouldn’t you wish for change? Why wouldn’t you want to better your life? What’s the harm in reinventing yourself? Even if it’s the smallest of things you want to change, I think it’s great. Now don’t get me wrong I do think you should try and be a better person all year round, we should be constantly looking at who we are as people and evolving, but if it does take the ‘new year, new me’ then I say good luck to the dreamers. I know I’d rather be a dreamer than a non-believer.
Here are my tips for reinventing yourself in the New Year.
- Don’t let your past determine your future.
- Don’t hold on to what could have been, because that’s gone now. Look for what can be.
- Bad things do happen to good people, but don’t let that stop you living your life. Let the bad times empower you and give you strength.
- Surround yourself with positive people, people who think the way you do and people, bring out the best in you, who make you smile and laugh until your stomach aches.
- People will judge you no matter what you do, don’t let their negative minds ruin who you are, and dim your shine.
- Be the star of your own show, putting other people first is great and selfless and rare but be in charge of your own happy ending.
And last but not least be happy. Smile, laugh, live and love with all of your heart.
To the dreamers I hope that all of your New Year wishes come true.
To the non-believers…maybe next year?
Remember the only thing standing in the way of your future is you.
Happy New Year bloggers. Thank you for being a part of making my New Year wishes come true. I’m excited about our future together :)
So I’m at a crossroads in my life where I’m about to make a big change. The biggest change I think I’ve ever made. During this change I feel like I’m faced with all kinds of emotions. I’m excited, anxious, nervous, confused, petrified! I’m completely out of my comfort zone and all I want to do is creep slowly back into it and hide under my covers with the hope that no one noticed.
For some people change comes easy, but for me it doesn’t. I’m such a deep thinker that I could probably think my way out of it if I wanted.
I know that change is good, I know this because I’ve read enough inspirational quotes and success stories that they all can’t be wrong. I know that nothing great ever came from not taking a chance. But what if change isn’t good for me, what if the chance I’m about to take doesn’t pay off. What if I don’t succeed?
To be perfectly honest I don’t even know what it is I’m hoping to succeed in, I just know that the life i’m living right now needs change.
Although I’m no longer a child I still feel very young. I still feel like I’ve got a lot to learn. Not only about myself but about the possibilities the world can bring.
So I’ve decided that all the emotions I feel right now, all the pressure I’m putting on myself, and all the thoughts I’ve been thinking I’m going to use for the better.
I’m going to challenge myself into making the change i know in my heart I have to make. I’m going to take that leap of faith and cross all my fingers in the hope it pays off.
After all i’d rather fail knowing I tried than regret never trying at all.
There comes a time in life when you learn to walk away from the negative. From the people who make you feel like you’re not good enough, from the mirror that lies and the bitchy girls that make you feel ugly. You just get up and walk away.
Life is too short to worry about the little things that hurt us. To worry about peer pressure and the expectations people have of us.
I believe in happiness and I believe in dreams. I believe in doing what makes you happy. Whatever it may be. Find your happiness and find your freedom in your dreams.
Just be yourself and do what makes you happy. Pass no judgement on what makes others happy, and let no one else’s judgement dim your shine.
And if you come across people who don’t believe in who you are and what you want from your life isn’t good enough for them, then turn around and walk the other way.
Don’t let anyone steal your smile
As people we are so wrapped up in our past. We allow past mistakes to stop us from moving forward. We let people from our past haunt our present, but why? Why do we let our past dictate our future?
People make mistakes, they’re a part of life. They’re a lesson for us to learn from moving forward, they’re not a punishment to stop us progressing forward.
So many things about our past improve our future, they mould us into who we are today but more often than not we forget about the positives and take the negatives with us.
Whether you hurt someone you loved, or the love of your life broke your heart. Maybe someone knocked your confidence one time and you’ve never been able to take that step forward again just incase it doesn’t go the way you hoped.
Don’t let the past stop you from progressing forward in your life. Don’t let mistakes stop you from becoming who you want to be. Don’t let that idiot that broke your heart stop you meeting the love of your life, and don’t let that no get in the way of your dream.
Thank the negatives for the lessons learnt and leave them behind. Don’t let them change the way you feel about your future. After all…backwards is not the direction you should be heading.
A valuable thing to remember in life is that you are your surroundings. You’re the smiley face that greets you on your way to work. The kind words from a stranger. The people you spend most of your time with during the day, the people you come home too. The laughter you share with your friends. The love you share with your family. You are who you spend time with. If you spend time with people who make you laugh then you’re naturally going to be happy. If you’re surrounded by negativity they you’re inevitably going to become negative.
Don’t let your surroundings dictate who you become and change the path in which you’re going. There are going to be many people who can’t lead a happy life maybe through bitterness, jealousy, or they’re own insecurities. They’ll try their damn hardest to bring you down with them, to dim your shine. Don’t let that happen. Don’t let them decide who you are. Who you get to be is up to you.
If you can look at your life and you’re genuinely happy with what you do, who you spend your time with, and who you are then that’s amazing, that’s what life is about. But if you’re not happy, if the people around you drain you, and don’t have your best interest at heart then don’t put yourself in their company. If you wake up everyday wishing you was doing something different with your day, go do it! Go and get your dreams!
Be the person who breaks the mould. The person who dares to dream. That one who decides they’re going to be happy and make the most out of their life. The only person standing in the way of your own happiness is you. It’s your choice.
I’ve decided I’m no longer going to be a product of my environment I’m going to stop listening to other peoples shit. I’m going To spend as much time with the people that make me happy. And most importantly I’m going to chase my dreams until they become my reality.
Live your life like there is no tomorrow…with a great big smile on that beautiful face!
What makes us rich?
Is it money? How many cars we have? The designer clothes, the shoes the bags? Is it the home we own, and the content inside it?
Or do other things accumulate wealth?
I refuse to believe that money is the only thing that separates rich and poor.
How about we look at life in a different way. Maybe your rich if you laugh everyday. If you smile. What about if your healthy? If the people around you are healthy. Or if you love unconditionally and you have people who love you. If you can look around at your life and genuinely say I’m happy. Surly that is worth more than money?
I know happiness doesn’t pay bills, and everyone would love to be able to live comfortably, without the added money worries, but I know I’d rather worry about money than health, I’d rather not have countless worthless possessions if I can have a life full of love and laughter.
I know id give up everything I own to guarantee the health and happiness of those around me.
Remember this…Next time you can’t afford to buy the latest phone or bag, think about the things you can do, think of the times you laugh, and who you love. You’ll soon realise how wealthy you are.
Do you ever feel like you try so hard to be liked? Or you bend over backwards to ensure other people’s happiness every day, Even if they never put your happiness first? Me too. We smile, speak when spoken to and be sure to always bite our tongue when someone says something we don’t agree with or don’t like. To avoid conflict, hurting someone else’s feelings and potentially to avoid losing a ‘friend’.
But why do we do this to ourself? It’s ok if we don’t get along with everyone. We’re meant to fall out and have disagreements. So Why do we feel the need to try and please everyone around us. Never saying anything that might offend someone incase it means they no longer like us. Then there are times when we have done absolutely nothing but be nice to people and try build a relationship and they just don’t like us. No reason. No explanation. Just not meant to be.
I always find it so hard when someone doesn’t like me, or when they don’t want to spend time with me. I always think I must be doing something wrong or there must be something wrong with me. I try so hard to make people like me and to make others happy that I end up exhausting myself.
So I’ve decided I’m no longer going to try. Although I’m not going to stop being a nice person, I am going to say how I feel and I’m not going to feel bad about it. My opinion matters, and I have a voice that deserves to be heard. If people like me for me and choose to spend time with me for no other reason but they enjoy my company then why should I try so hard to please others that don’t.
It’s ok to not be liked by everyone. It’s ok to not try and please everyone all the time. As long as your a nice person and your happy then just be who you are.
Not everyone likes the same genre of music yet the world keeps turning.
Think of yourself as a song, some people may not like your melody but many others will love to dance to your beat